She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
