You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
