They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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