I'm jealous of your bromance
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
