dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
