I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
