For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
