Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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