thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
