He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
