Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's official drugs can't kill me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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