Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
