It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
