you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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