can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
