I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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