Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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