He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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