She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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