I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
