I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
