Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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