I'm pants shitting drunk right now
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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