The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
