Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
