this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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