yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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