I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
