Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
