Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
