she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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