At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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