Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
