Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
