can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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