cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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