she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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