If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
