yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
