Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize