Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
