Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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