remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i now understand why vodka
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
