there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
