Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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