you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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