now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
