Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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