where am i from again
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
