Screwed.edu
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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