It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
