Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
