how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
